what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
