I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
