There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
