I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
worst night to have a conscience
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
