I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
