no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
