Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
