What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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