Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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