and you said cock pushups were impossible
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
