I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
