Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
