you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
