so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
