I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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