We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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