I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
