hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
