i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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