Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
