come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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