Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
