Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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