I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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