Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Buhtt sex?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize