i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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