Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
