And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
