if i can run in heels then i can drive
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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