WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
