its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize