Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
God I need to hump something, right now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
