if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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