Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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