I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize