Pants 0. Shit 1.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
