id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When are your genitals available?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Congratulations! We have a period
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