his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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