don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
