You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
