you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
