the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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