how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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