Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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