She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
