I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
