I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
