But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
