Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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