party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
