I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
