Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
