Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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