i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
