Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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