um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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