I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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