How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
