I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize