I'm jealous of your bromance
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Pants are for mortals
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