Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
