I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
