id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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