Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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