For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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