why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
